Words of My Dryn Tears

For being wrong

2012-01-02T16:32:00.001-08:00

This is to the nay sayers
The ill wishers
Those that hope for your down fall
A one fingred salute followed by success
To those that only wished for your failure
The ones that hate to see you happy
Smile in your face as they scheme on ways to make you lose
If I knew then what I know now
I'd do it just a little bigger and a bit better
But I'm happy to say you never told me so
Thank you for betting against me
With out your ill will I'd never have the drive
And you know what I still wish em the best
I'm a mess
Cause I'd keep em at arms length
So they could know success vicariously through me
Call it flaunting if you must
But I earned every bit of it

Stuck

2011-09-06T11:48:00.001-07:00

This block has been hard to crack
Writing with a troubled pen
Navigating through life's detours
Mind soar from worries
Fingers ache to dance with pen
Words fall woefully short
Inspiration stays eluding this grasp
What am I to do sitting in limbo?
Wasting away time while being idle
Life seems to forgotten this poet
Or is it this poet has forgotten life?

Ignored

2011-07-15T16:52:00.000-07:00

Ignored...
A muse lays by the shore
Of ones mind
Almost forgotten
Like a distant memory
Ignored...
Battered by the waves
She lays waiting
To be noticed once more
By the poet
Ignored...
Lost at sea it seems
A poet navigates
Through storms
Looking for a lost love
Unknowingly passing her
On forlorn shore
Ignored...
A muse waits
To once again embrace
A poets heart

Back again...final time

2011-06-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

Damn it
Again it seems a poet lapsed
To caught up in the everyday
Worries and pains
Distractions and woes
Joys also
Can not lie its been fun at times
Yet neglect sets in
Few words have flowed
Oh one or two have known them
Though here and there
Neglect is shown
But this time
It will be permanently corrected
No more desertions of love
Giving it my all
And hunting down old friends
Other sites where words lay
To do the same
So again and finally
I'm back again.

Dreams.....28/30

2011-04-28T20:10:00.001-07:00

Dreams
They seem so far away
Yet rest right on the horizon
Though haze the corporal form can be seen
Dreams
When one stops pushing they fade
Recede like the tide when low
Become distant like stars
Dreams
Never let anyone tell you they can't be real
Don't ever give in when an attempt fails
Learn from set back and change method of attainment
Dreams
Only a blink away
Yet can take years to see
Patience and determination are two main keys
Dreams
Anything is possible when you set your heart, mind and soul to it

Lost love.....25/30

2011-04-25T20:28:00.000-07:00

Seems like another life
These dreams of better times
Images of you plague these thoughts
So caught in phantom kisses and caresses
Aching for a touch
No longer familiar
Estranged from a love that seemed heaven sent
Regrets bent on crushing what's left
Tired of holding a breath
Thinking of all the should's
Wondering if you still feel anything

Days like.....

2011-04-22T19:32:00.001-07:00

Dreaming of days like this
No worries no stress on days like this
Even when the rain falls the sunshines
On days like this
Yesterdays play no part
And tomorrows are to far way
To matter on days like this
When my son laughs
The day seems brighter on days like this
These kind of days seem far and few between
But on days like this
That all seems like a distant dream

The Journey continues: 20/30

2011-04-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

Going on 26
Another step taking
10 steps back
Seems like the further one goes
The harder they fall

Stand or go: 18/30

2011-04-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

So what's it suppose to be
Honestly what's good between us
Either your staying or leaving
Rather have you stay and work it out
But if you need to leave there's the door
Not gonna chase you
They lied to you about that
I'm fighting here and now
We can debate and be civilized
Or yell and lose our minds
Regardless I'm going all in here and now
If your giving your all
Gonna go until I fall
Yet understand this me
Accept it or let it go
The change will come
I've accepted you from day one
What I knew of you
And everything new I find out
I take in stride
No poker face here
All cards on the table
Deck damn near gone
Are we gonna hold on
Grow strong together
Weather the storm till it gets better
Gotta know are you willing to ride it out
Or just say later
Actually would it finally be our first and last goodbye?

Prides fall:

2011-04-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

Long days followed by cold nights
Haunted by phantom memories
Scarred by love lost
Passion turned bitter
Flame burnt out
If could go back would do better
Cherish u like the rarest treasure
Pain turned to joy
Tears become laughs
Anger into pleasure
Pride kept tongue hostage with shame
Should of chased u down an kissed u
Stead now missing u
Thinking what if
Joy surely missed
All could of been changed with a hug
Followed by words filled with love
Nights empty of joy
Days seem dim
Life on pause
Why wouldn't pride stand down

Unspoken:(working on it)15/30

2011-04-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

So connected for so long
Picking up where the other leaves off
No such thing as an awkward pause
Yet nothing official
Unspoken agreement

Universe embodied; Woman

2011-04-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

A star given form
Her presence so eloquent
Such a radiant confidence
With an intellect so seducing
Knowledge she pours intoxicating
A supple frame
Her grace seeming effortless
Deep and firm strength like tree roots
Only a keen eye would notice the strain
Yet maintained with a cool grace
Fragrance like summer rain
Her stride filled with pride
Straight and true
Pay attention

What

2011-04-09T18:35:00.000-07:00

What do you do
When the love goes cold
And the weather gets warm
Do you wait for the storm
Or admit the lost
Are you going separate ways
Take a second to think
Should you buckle down
Holding on till it brakes
Rekindle the passion from ashes
Or shake your head
Knock open the door
And go separate ways
What would you do

America dreaming:

2011-04-07T19:25:00.000-07:00

Lies told openly
While truth sought in secret
Pleading for a change
Yet scared to take a step
Demanding equality for all still
Yet unwilling to changes eras of tradition
Thought America meant freedom
But its only free for privileged
People are livid
Still they living timid
News shows rebellions
You can hear us cheering
Though when they look at us
And ask "when will you stand?"
We look around like "you talking to me?"
A King marched for a dream
An the old cry silently
For the nightmare its become
So much ground gained
Yet so many steps lost
Everyone part of a revolution
Never see any solutions
Few stand up types left
The best fade into the past
And the present wanna return
Can't see the future Rays
All so blurry
Lady Justice gives it to the highest bidder
While Lady Liberty turned her back an left
What happen to the land of the free
Where's the home of the brave
When will you get tired of the smoke an mirrors

The Call of Eternity:

2011-04-05T17:13:00.000-07:00

Eternity been's calling
Yet this heart beats stalling
Suppose to be effortless
But these fingers seem frozen
To write these words
Describing deepest of feelings
Eternity beckons softly
Promising greatness among legends
Though one hesitates
When asked about reasons
How does one explain
The indescribable muse
Who plays with a poets thoughts
Eternity is knocking
Yet till earthly goals are met
It'll have to wait

Innocence:

2011-04-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

What is more pure
Than a child's joy
Nothing soothes the soul
Like a child's laugh
Filled with such wonder
And love for the world
Purest form of innocence
Unblemished by an indifferent world
Those luckily enough
To have a mothers and fathers love
Carefree in their discoveries
So curious about how it all works
Smiles so bright
It warms the soul
Purest form of innocence
Mimicking their surroundings
The way they reason so astounding
For pure way they see it all
When they learn right from wrong
Twinkle in their eyes
Tickle the heart
When they're caught acting up
Have the grace to look ashamed
Yet so quick to turn a frown upside down
Can't help but laugh
At the antics they try to pull
Nothing so pure
As a child's love
Accept for their innocence

No One......

2011-04-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

No one notices the edge
The brake along the horizon
Hiding untold wonders
Or deepest of fears
No one notices the edge
When they're running all out
Trying to leave the past
Or flying on high
Away from the cares of life
No one notices the edge
When caught up in their own stories
Own hurts and joys
Wondering through the woods
No one notices the edge
Or the man who's fallen
Plunging to the depths below

Unexpectedly expected

2011-03-28T17:32:00.000-07:00

How are you mad

You had such high expectations

Unrealistic visions you envisioned

Yet you failed to tell the tale

Shocked by the unexpected responses

Constantly perturbed by reactions

Yet you failed to tell the tale

How can you be mad

When you never inquired

Never uttered a single mention

Of these so called high hopes

You expected so much

Yet it all was just smoke on the wind

Never confided in

So your dreams were deferred

Desires want unheard

You expected

But you forgot to send the memo of your expectations

text message.....

2011-01-27T20:27:00.000-08:00

Know its not said all the time/even seems like lost the shine/but I Love you/had our shares of ups and downs/an even a few turn around's/but when the dust clear/an the rain fades away/your still right there next to me/I Love you/words @ times escape this grasp/one that claims a poets class/yet the words easiest to say/yet mean so much when they're true/I Love You

Brain scatter....

2011-01-26T15:01:00.000-08:00

Thoughts all over
Talk about a roller coaster
Chaos raging yet holding to the illusion
Peace is a distant dream
Brain scatter
Down to the last cents
Right now there is no sense
Total over load
Feels like it's all slipping away like sand
Brain scatter
Sensual pleasure no longer exist
Visuals just seem faded
Nightmares while awake
Just getting started but it already seems to late
Brian scatter
Behind the 8Ball again
Doesn't matter how many times won
Always seems like the loss is to great
Looking up like whats next
Brian scatter

Observation on time

2010-12-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

One can never truly measure time
It varies from day to day
The tree may seem long lived
Yet the rock one day is a mountain
Even among man
If stress rules a man of youth can look wizened
Yet a mature man who's lived carefree appears youthful
A true measure of time, it could be said, is experience
Two people of the same age will differ
One could never leave home yet age rapidly
The other could travel the world and seem younger for it
Time is fickle yet undeniably profound
It touches every thing yet nothing
One can never truly measure time

Never Knew

2010-12-16T19:19:00.000-08:00

Never knew
How could this be
Never knew
How can this be
Never knew
How is this possible
Never knew
How could this be love
Never knew
How is this possible...love
Never knew
Love could be this deep
Never knew
Love can be this raw
Never knew
Love like this was even possible
A love that cant be truly defined
A love that could stretch across time and space
A love that is limitless

Haunted

2010-12-16T19:15:00.000-08:00

These dreams stay haunting
Like vengeful demons stalking
Mind balks at the thought of rest
So stressed wondering if I'm still blessed
Body aching from the lack of mental peace
Not to hard to figure out the cause
But wondering what's the cost
To finally find that state of peace
Gone so far yet still so lost
Doesn't look like I'm gonna win this race
Can hear them just beyond the veil
Seeing them just on the visions edge
Little corner of hell
Images of how they muse of inflicting damage
Head bowed and hands clasped
Praying fervently for soul touching deliverance
Or at least a swift........

Fallen Wings.........

2010-09-07T18:32:00.000-07:00

Found a set of wings
Heard the sounds of angels crying
Feathers dancing on the wind
Found a set of wings
Seen a silhouette of angels flying
A mournful symphony proceeding
Found a set of fallen wings
Saw her standing proudly
Yet tears streaked her face
Smile bitter sweet
As she kicked away her fallen wings....

Strength

2010-08-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

*side note: wrote this for @imani_sublime "Poetry in Pink", follower her on twitter n check out her site penhittingpaper.com shes dope. This was what came of the untitled*

daily we see it
we praise so many for it
always so quick to acknowledge it
but what exactly is it?
Strength....
physically you can tell
by who's the biggest
or even quickest on the field
in a game or in a sport
but is that truly it?
Strength....
yet is that really it?
is that the only measure?
could there not be another form...
or is that just the norm?
Strength
no that can't be it
not saying its not true
but there's gotta be more
isn't courage a form of...
Strength
well how about the will to go on...
even when all hope seems lost
yet a person carries on
and proves all of the odds wrong
they gather their courage
when most seem discouraged
and push on through the pain
willing to endure anything
to see their loved one(s) smile
isn't that....
Strength
when one is down, broke, or sick
and it seems so easy to quit
yet they rally against
what seems like pure hopelessness
to obtain their dreams
would not that be
Strength....

untitled

2010-06-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

never understood what strength was....
well da strength of arms every man learns.....
but true strength...that's another story.....

time...tick...tock

2010-04-18T15:33:00.001-07:00

take a second
then a minute
then a hour
then a day
then a week
then a month
now its a year
whats changed?
can you see it?
or is it still unclear?
take a second
then a minute
then a hour
then a day
then a week
then a month
now anotha year
is it still the same?
has any ground been gained?
or anotha set back?
take a second
then a minute
then a hour
then a day
then a week
then a month
will this be the year?
are all these fears conquered?
seems like being sponsered by mediocrocy
take a second
then a minute
then a hour
then a day
then a week
then a month
fuck this year wit no lube
going in till a win is posted n da sky
no mo fears or cares
anything not improving is getting murked
take a second
then a hour
then a day
then a week
then a month
next year will be the accumulation of greatness

self imposed......

2010-03-11T05:28:00.001-08:00

Feeling like I'm ready 2 hit the button/self destruction nibbling on my ear lobe/everything going so well/so y do I feel like I'm trapped n hell/searchin 4 n answer/every action replicates cancer/cure seem so simple yet so faring to the thought

reflections and dreams of a father

2010-02-23T15:07:00.000-08:00

these corridors have gotten so dusty
seems like an eternity since last visited these halls
youth is such a funny thing
reflecting on how it seemed like i could do anything
and yet i felt crushed by the weight of the world
well coming up on a quarter century of life
and yup still feel like i can do anything
starting to dust off some of those fantasies
i do carry the weight of a world
my sons future weighs heavy on me
the steps i take carry so much more weight
yet i refuse to let caution hold me back
i will strive for the stars themselves
wanna show him how to fly
literally cause i do wanna learn how to pilot a plane
so many dreams and goals they're almost as infinite as the stars

turn of it

2010-01-15T21:35:00.001-08:00

turn of the decade
new year wit few new cares n fears
yet same ol story moving 2 a new chapter
prayin n plotting 2 avoid disaster
while at da same time mastering my fate
looking 4 a calmer head where yung one concerned
praying this light animosity burns out
not 4 our sakes but 4 his
4 myself just looking 4 prosperity
rather go broke then depend on anotha's charity
not being spiteful just being honest
tired of being 4gotten
so going hard till i get it
regardless of what i gotta go through
planning on raising me an mines status
get wit it or get ghost
2010 n i'm n it 2 win it

when anger.....

2009-11-25T14:34:00.001-08:00

when anger speaks loudly
temper it by speaking softly but clearly
when anger strikes out recklessly
calm it with soothing gestures & words
when anger threatens what's dear
show it again of the worth it holds
when anger acts rashly & impulsively
remind it that only with a cool head will anything flourish
for when anger takes over nothing worth doing gets done
yet if one allows a cooler head 2 prevail any thing is possible

winged....

2009-11-06T07:59:00.000-08:00

been a minute 4 this winged traveler 2 allow his wings a rest. found a being 2 travel by his side, but will it b 4 eternity? fathered a seed with potential unlimited, heart heavy with knowledge of possible hardships. yet defiantly growls & flex's onyx wings impatiently challenging any who dare, sending out the call 2 rally the pack. wit a wolfish grin launching back 2 the air, wings once broken spreading proudly again

tempting dilemma

2009-11-06T07:51:00.000-08:00

blindly searching hoping for light to come
darkness veil lifts teasingly as it flutters to mock
temptation whisper so seductively into pleading ears
back bent from mind blown pleasurable assualt
roaring out in frustration & confusing
to stubborn to fall and succumb
yet to weak to turn away and ignore
wondering how to proceed
when such a tempting dilemma lays Xposed
waiting and wanting

penmanship

2009-10-10T21:09:00.000-07:00

words slowly leak from tip of pen
pad slowly devours each drop as its pumped out
paper sighing happily as the story is sporadically stroked out
long deep lines lead to shallow transitions
quick strokes in blind ecstasy switch to slow thoughtful ones
climatic ending seems so near yet is so far
each stroke of the pen can either bring sweet relief
or another session of pleasurable torture

sensual

2009-09-15T17:31:00.000-07:00

slowly taken in ya essence
each drop is ecstasy
shooting straight 2 my core
leaven me open & raw
delighting in ya sounds of joy
rolling around in ya sensual arms
teasing bites arousing me greatly
taken time to please ya mentally
as i slowly rock ya body
time stand stills in the moment
as release launches us beyond this plain
crossin pleasure filled eternity

time stops.....

2009-09-15T14:52:00.000-07:00

time stops
no matter where i turn its all gone
time stops
my voice has fled at sights i've seen
time stops
no regrets yet mourn i must
time stops
as the clock strikes the last hour
time stops
standing empty handed for lack of power
time stops
wish i could go back to the moment
when time stopped & our worlds shattered

late night treat......

2009-08-10T17:08:00.001-07:00

late night we meet
slowly massaging ya body
hands slowly exploring every inch
kissing u softly along the way
hands trail between ya thighs
enjoying body shaken sighs
spreading ya thighs
biting along the inside
kissing your inverted lips wit whispers
tongue slowly dancing between them
licking up your ecstasy filled cream......

a taste

2009-08-10T16:57:00.000-07:00

slowly licking u from head to toe devouring every delicious inch of ya thick body pink valley i linger n till it floods wit honeydew feeling ya thighs tremble as my tongue twirls sucking your clit till ya hands r bound n my locks till ya body eXplodes exclimated by passion filled scream true ecstasy is what i want 2 bring u......

tell me.....

2009-07-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

so how do u want it
how will you take it
leaving it in your hands
pleasure is gonna be a giving
you can choose how to accept it
so tell me do you want it slow
or give it to you fast nonstop
do you want slow long strokes
or quick deep hard thrust
tell me baby how do you want me
want me to explore & tease you
or get straight down to the business
do you wanna start out on top
or you want me to take you from behind
tell me want fantasies you have
i wanna know what dark passions you dream of
tell me......

my darkness....

2009-07-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

can u feel it? do u even understand what i'am?
my demon has awaken bringing along its hunger
this darkest passion is consuming me slowly
temptation & seduction waring for release
this pain i feel is soul deep
to not turn away & walk back into the abyss
wishing this love was a true reality
my passions seem to be the stronger
a slave to this pen & my darkest desires
this other side i tried to hide
is it to late to sedate it with pure passion?
to temper its hunger & control it?
or this time will i let it full consume me until its sated?
this demon has awaken & is releasing my darkness

Shaken

2009-06-22T18:03:00.000-07:00

These feelings are still new I don't know what to do
A part of me rebels furiously to be set free
Yet the rest screams out for you to devour me
So close to the fire yet resiting to be consumed
Hungering for your feast but starving out of stubbornness
I gotta admit ya love got me shaken to the core

Reflection

2009-06-22T16:18:00.000-07:00

Sitting here on the edge of reality looking into an obsidian oblivion
A predatory mockery stares back at me
Such fury and hate beaming from its eyes
This cant be a true reflection of me
Hunger so deep it chills the soul
This must be that side that peeks out when I lose control
I shake my head in denial
A sadistic laugh escapes its lips and inside I hear
"I am your shield when you do not want to face reality,
give in and set me free"
I turn away from this mockery that claims to be me
But deep inside I know this to be a true reflection
I glance back to deny but nothings there
As I start to walk away yet standing near is my mockery
The evil that is a reflection of the darkness in me

start thinkin

2009-06-17T19:05:00.000-07:00

easy 2 say then 2 do, easier still 2 judge when u ain't been through, sitting back wit only half truth, yet still willing 2 believe entire lie, how I despise our human race sometimes, n that's were I'm just as wrong, but damn how we suppose to really move forward, when majority of us still thinkin backwards?

self limitations

2009-06-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

dying every day every day I'm dying not liven life 2 the fullest damn how can I be so foolish so many self insecurities to many self limitations but I don't know how to lift em holdin on to nothing sitting back waiting to be given something tryin 2 keep pace as my life passes me by what is it that I need is their even anything that makes em say wow sitting wit my head bowed will I ever reach past the clouds 2 touch the stars

erosion

2009-06-17T19:01:00.000-07:00

feeling so trapped inside my head even a caged rat seems to be more free drowning so slowly this pain that invades is so alien yet feels like such an ol acquittance memories unleashed like a tidal wave caving in my mental demising my physical this world is slowly eroding away my spiritual soon to be left an empty shell once that happens who can tell the end results we all have yin & yang, good & evil wit in which side will step in to replace what is lost does it even matter once my physical n corporeal forms are banished

yea for my lil guy

2009-06-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

damn beating my head against a wall lucky its just as tough thought it'd be easy had it all figured out my lil man wit me from time to time n me n his moms still able to talk nah not like that but being friends showing him love comes in so many ways but damn its like when tryin to talk to her such a rage fills me inside seems like unjustly being punished cause it didn't last long well got myself to blame don't know any other way but to go hard but damn if i would of known then pssssff doesn't matter what does is we fig a way to work it out cause even though i don't let it slip to much best believe your my heart i see partly what my father seen feel partly wha he feels that pride of father for his son so yea don't get it twisted just cause right now its rough don't mean i don't care best believe any thing u need or any thing u want with in reason of course i'm make sure don't want break my body if need before my son i challenge em all n tell god hey for that lil guys love damn right ill face any trial and walk through hells fire just to see that twinkle in his eye yea i'm more of my mothers child but wit my fathers pride

long time.....

2009-06-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

getting up n dusting my self off let my self stay down to long this time been a min since i did this hoping i still got that...wha ever it is long time no see hope u haven't for gotten me of course it may seem i have u but both of us been so busy lately n oh the woes we both experienced yet still even though haven't said its still the same ol me yea i know u aint believing cause i haven't said hi n awhile n the kid smile been more of frown but this time i'm truly back gonna dust ya off the only way i can u know i'm the best that did it hehe well at least i'm gonna claim so yes i can say honestly this time i'm back

what determines when a man is a man

2009-06-17T18:56:00.000-07:00

here i stand
wondering what it takes to be a man
if the choices i make truly are right
or if lata on in life they'll prove to be wrong
i guess its this unknown that has me second guessing
stressing over if what i do is really for a better tomorrow
or just for selfish indulgence
what does it take for a man to be a man
is it by what his peers think
or is it what his lover thinks
is it what society dictates
or is it through your own sweat and blood
how do you know when a boy becomes a man

just a random thought

2009-06-17T18:55:00.000-07:00

Isn't that new feeling great?
That new shine and glow that comes with it?
How bout that good feeling you get?
And its a pain when it fades
It hurts when it starts to go away
So how do you keep it?
Or even how do you get it back?
Should you move on to the newer model?
Or cherish the memories till it fully goes?
Love sometimes is a bitch

life?

2009-06-17T18:53:00.000-07:00

life is great
life sucks
life is exhilarating
life is smothering
life seems to be moving to fast
life goes by to slow
it seems like my life is filled with happiness
it seems like my life is filled with misery
life is great
life sucks
seems like life will never end
when will this torture of a life end
life is exhilarating
life is smothering
so much wonder in my life
so much disappointment in my life
it seems like my life is black and white
so much light shinning so much darkness choking
feel like i'm living two lives
i'm torn in to many directions
how do i live my life?

IM BACK

2009-06-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

its funny how i sit back n think
in da blink of an eye i lost it
but now before i can blink its back
it hit me like a thunder clap
the gift i was given is back
or had it ever really left?
hmmm guess i just had to catch my mental breath
so i wanna declare loud n clear
that young penster is back
TEARLESS POET AKA RISEN YOUTH
yes n best believe i'm cocky
if you doubt it go ahead n try me
may not be best on all fronts
but i give u such a run
like the devil tryin to out run his shadow

lil man

2009-06-17T18:49:00.002-07:00

its like wow
how do i even put it into words
fact is you my lil man
a piece of me i still cant get over seeing
hope our bond grows n stay strong till the end
even though me n ya moms aint close
still hope we can be friends for your sake
don't wanna make the same mistakes as my father
lord please help guide me
show i can show my lil man how to be da better man
to stand on his 2 feet
even when the heat comes
n the ish hit the fan
show him how to truly show his love for the special one
god please give me the strength to go on
even when he falls n gets hurt
please help me guide him to your path
lord let my lil man grow 2 be a real man

so soon yet not soon enough

2009-06-17T18:49:00.001-07:00

so hard to believe it
couldn't even dream it
but its real and undenying
so soon that you'll be here
but to soon and you'll have me fearing
yet how i can hardly contain my excitement
to finally have you in my arms and say
"i love you my son"
but still seems like an eternity until than
an yet so much still left undone
hoping that void can be closed
but that's not to worry you at all
the time we have will be unending
so full of laughs and joy
i cant wait to hold my baby boy

what do i.....

2009-06-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

seems like everything i try do right is going oh so wrong
trying so hard to come up but falling so far behind
yea admitted played round when should've been serious
but trying to make up for it now but it seems so ridiculous
i'm taken 2 steps forward and gettin knocked 20 steps back
seems like every time the dice roll sank eyes pop up
the lucky kid seems to finally have run outta luck
honestly tryin to figure out why i'm not given the fuck up
just go back to that street hustle where cash is fast
shit nick&dime for a min din stack bricks like the 3lil pigs
it'd be so easy and can do it away from loved one eyes
learn from the best, lord rest his soul, n got the connects
all i gotta do is make that call n i call ball like i was on MTV
specially wit a seed on the way that cake be so easy
get my brothers to watch my back n watch that cake stack
it'd be so easy already embedded thanx to da family tree
bustin my ass now and nothing to show for it
trying to get back to school so i can have my own
looking for a 9-5 to hold me over till i reach my dreams
fam bizz will be alright moms is a true soldier
time for me to leave the nest for good n ride wit the stars
but trying to do it straight seems just so hard
what say fuck it and let all slip away
fuck my dreams and everything they mean
but i know if i do that then ill truly have lost
m i really ready to pay that cost?

dilemma

2009-06-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

it's so hard to think of a way to explain it
at first i got my mind completely wrapped around it
but than when face to face everything slips away
like writing on a beach washed away by sea
nothing will stick in my mind
and even if i put it down in written form
it wouldn't matter cause it'd look like another language
how m i suppose to express how i feel with words?
if every time the sight or sound of you turns me inside out
so long been waiting to confess to you
not knowing how to express it
inside of my head i'm screaming at myself
for being a coward when it comes to these feelings
watching another enjoyin your touch
but realizing he could never appreciate it the way i would
to put cha right next to me in thrown
how you would come before all others except for our seed
before letting any harm come to you i would bleed
so easy to say it when your walking away
i know you must think me a fool jibbering on to you
bout the weather and what cha plans are for the weekend
without even bothering to ask you out even to buy a soda
girl what i'm tryin to say is that i love you
like the waves love the moon
or plants love the sun
until i meet you my world was so dark
but the stark contrast now is that its dull and gray
and the only to change that is open up and say
i love you....
but that's my dilemma cause i cant find the strength

journey of devilish wings.......

2009-06-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

devilish wings of midnight unfold once more
preparing to soar on cosmic winds again
searching for that one to bring light to his darkness
wings beating the stars aside with out remorse
eyes burning with hellish sin
knowing if he finds her the pain will cease to be relentless
across the void he searches for her
many rise up to his call but all are mere shadows
he will not be misguided
his soul burns for her touch knowing the release it'll bring
numbness in his chest will be crushed by her body
a force that none would dare contest
a power daring any in existence to deny the right
a being driven by pure passion forged from raw emotion
these starry wings have beaten across the cosmos for eon
constantly searching for their match in the light
waiting for the day their universe becomes one
and any that dare challenge his right will be crushed
for with out her self destruction would be the only path
but before that chaos would rain from these wings
and the world would share this devils pain

Answer??

2009-06-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

I'm wondering right now if i lost it or i just put it up cause i don't need it right now?
It seems to have slipped right through my fingers easily escaping my grasp.
The ability to express my inner most joys or sorrows with the unearthly clarity to such an extent you can relate or take them on as your own
Now how do i give vent to these inner most joys or demons that haunt me?
Is it cause so many have come and related to me or is that i allowed my muse to slip away?
Ragging with in while reaming calm with out with only a few known of what torment i speak of and only a handful of them know all of the reasons.
Have i totally lost focus or has it just been redirected from its original goals?
I don't know feel like a car hydroplaning outta control
Have things changed this much inside of me or is it that we started taken different paths in order to reach the same goal?
Is me that open my hand and just let go or is that we've been savagely ripped apart from each other?
I don't know the answer........

the kind

2009-06-17T18:05:00.000-07:00

I'm the kind of man every woman wants, needs, or has in her life.....
the friend......
almost like a brother, in some cases that's the role played, watching her back, helping to pick her up when she's down by any means, explaining that not every guy is an ass, beaten the shit outta guys that disrespect, and sometimes can become the boyfriend or even the husband
the brother......
always has a stronger shoulder to lean on and never quick to judge and always offering a helping hand
the son.......
always obedient and helpful in any situation and try's to keep worries away understanding mama has her hands full
the boyfriend......
always showing affection and in little ways how much your appreciated, always willing to hold your hand even when being clowned by friends cause i know how much it means to you.
the roughneck......
never disrespecting and checking any who do, given you love when you really need and making sure you always taken care of even when playing like i don't care.
the gentleman........
always opening doors and pulling out chairs, walking you to your door and giving you my coat and last bite to eat
the husband........
the king of the household who's rule is fair and just and understanding im nothing with out my queen by my side, so after every disagreement making sure i show you how much i love and appreciate you putting up with me and help raising our family
the father......
protector and care taker always there to pick you up when you fall, there to give you the knowledge to help you better understand men and hoping you never have to endure heartache or pain from one of us....but always keeping a pistol ready just in case.

i feel you

2009-06-17T18:04:00.002-07:00

its undeniable what your doing.
i ask myself daily why i even try to stop it.
i feel you pulling away
slowly its happening like the tide retreating
but unlike the tide you wont come back when your gone
yet still i deny it
even though its a losing battle i fight it like cancer
in every way i try to please you more and more
constantly searching new ways to keep you stimulated
but i know deep down its a lost cause
i feel you pulling away
why are you doing this to us?
don't those times we laughed till we cried mean anything?
endless days spent in each others arms
or being content looking into each others eyes
does it not count for anything anymore?
and why must you torment me so?
slowly pulling away pretending to give me a chance
we both know in the end its inevitable
so why even hold out like things will change?
i feel you pulling away
my heart is torn asunder by this bleak reality
that it could find its love and yet be denied
trying to hide this pain is slowly driving me insane
to have come so close to obtaining that ultimate happiness
how i laugh at those past loves i had
for now i truly know their despair
how it hurts
to see you walk away

whats my part gonna be?

2009-06-17T18:04:00.001-07:00

just a look and i'm shook down to my core
just a small wave or wink in my direction got me feeling all type of affections towards you
just you speaking no matter what its about has my mind losing focus on everything but you
just the fact you know the type of effect you have on me but not actin beyond that drives me crazy
no problem with flirting and playing round but the minute i even talk bout partially lockin it down you right back to it
just leading to that point where you know you got me but then just lettin me go like its nothing
but you know its over and done with
either you gonna want me as ya man or just have me on demand for that late night creep till you is lock down
let me know how this is gonna go so i can play my part right
either we gonna start on that road or just be friends with presidential benefits
or is it that your scared of what i got to give
known you always gonna get it right day & night
always there when you call and come home at night
soon as you hit that door wanting to know how your day was even if mine was fucked up
a boo that's gonna treat you right 24/7 and not when he want some
a real man by ya side
so what it is shorty
i can play that mr. right now or that mr. right for the rest of ya life
all ya gotta do is let me know is how my part is gonna go but you cant change up on me in the midst of it
ill give my all but only in one form cause i'm not that norm
so either here n now in da moment or happy ever after in da end even with da chance of those dark times on da horizon
no worries i come with a network connect like Verizon
just let me know so my mind can rest easy

something nice & something special

2009-06-17T18:02:00.002-07:00

aint it funny how life changes so quickly on us. i mean look at it from children to adolescents, from adolescents to teens, from teens to young adults, and mothers and fathers, to grown ups with families. it passes by quickly but back then didn't it seem to take an eternity? but isn't that something nice? those summer child hood memories. even though may not have many they still shine brightly when given time to reflect. and didn't it happen right before or after you lost hope and felt a bit of neglect even if u didn't realize it? but isn't that how it goes? something special always comes along. its seems like one minute life is just so care free regardless if its right or wrong how you living it, but then next thing u know sun goes down and your left alone in the dark to stumble along not sure which way you going. then it just happens BOOM you run into. at that time and moment you may not realize it but something nice just came along. now if its for the moment or if it last a life time doesn't matter cause it came along at the right time. isn't that how it always is though even though we don't realize it till lata but something special always comes along when we need it the most? and its something so nice and something so special that we carry a piece of it from then on always going back to it in dark and turbulent times. it could be something nice like a puppy or something special like a best friend, or even something nice like a secret spot dat you chill at or something special like dat secret love you creep with out in the open just oblivious to it all. yea something nice & special just like dat. those memories of people, places, and things that came along just when we needed them the most. so its never hopeless just seems that way cause sooner or lata something nice & something special comes your way.

i know eventually

2009-06-17T18:02:00.001-07:00

i know eventually mrs. right is gonna find me but until then i'm just looking for mrs. right now to hold me down.
looking for a few endless nights of some of the most blissful erotic pleasure not worrying what tomorrow brings.
i just want a girl right now that knows no strings attached is what is when we get together right then n there just me n her no one else matters but after all said n done we just go our separate ways.
no stress no fuss just a kiss n a lick, a bite n a scratch punctuated by soft, sometimes loud moans and groans.
i guess what i'm saying is i'm looking for a friend with presidential benefits a chick i can call my boo but never my wife.
eventually she'll be just like a sister a down ass rider bitch not to be disrespectful but unless you come at us da wrong way then we come with dat rough play.
type of girl that aint gettin round but knows how to get down n dirty when the time calls for it.
dat kind of chick that after all said n done still brake you off for old time sake until u do find your wifey and then brake dat foot off in your ass if you try to cheat lol

me & u

2009-06-17T18:01:00.001-07:00

when it comes to these up's n down's ma we gotta make sure we got longer up's n shorter down's cause the longer we up the happier we'll be and same with the shorter down's we have the better we'll be. think bout it less stress and more smile's and easier to confided in one another to share our inner most thoughts n secrets cause that's what a couple is suppose to do. you suppose to be my other half my better half at times and me yours. your the sunshine that gives my moon the light to glow at night, to let me know that even when its the darkest there's still always hope. and its the same cause it's an equal exchange because we all ways down for each other so when you got cha back up against the wall don't worry i wont let you fall. we can be each others pillar's of strength our love the foundation they stand on. so as long as that's secure regardless if we near or far we have no worries. aint no shame to say we need a lil help from each other at times, we should be a shame if we silent remain to witness one anothers struggles. cause no matter what it is all you gotta do is say the word and what ever i can give is yours so you can endure an weather any storm you going through. and you have to remind me at times its the same way for me cause pride comes before the fall. so as long as we looking out for each other and don't allow another to come between can you really see any thing we cant accomplish?

another look

2009-06-17T18:00:00.001-07:00

i want my mind to stop spinning and sticking with these sicken sinful thoughts. i want to really say i grew up instead of saying i'm tired of throwing up physically and mentally after hearing and seeing some of the things in my life. maybe i haven't been exposed or seen as much horror in my life as some of ya'll but i still say mine comes close in certain junctions in the chain of the scheme of things. so tired that i want a quick end but cause of chivalry i wanna prolong it to a slow agonizing death just so the ones i care for can have a good life. stretching myself over this sacrificial stone for no apparent reason accept just cause it sounded like the best thing at the time. a quick minute to be recognized and adored right before i let em slam the sword through my back pinning me. there's nothing i can do now cept carry it to my grave. the weight of others lies and truths i carry willingly cause of this self righteous view i carry. the light is right and dark is wrong regardless until i stumbled into the gray and lost my way. now i see the world as a hungry endless beast just waiting to devour any pour lost soul or twisted one for that fact. its chain is wrapped tight around all of our throats tinged a sickly green that we come to accept as life instead of poison that it is. we hunger for it more and more even though its value lessens each turn of the clocks ticking. so sicken but what else can we do? but i'm rambling a bit now let me get back to why i'm so sick. been standing still telling the world i'm makin moves and only stepping left n right in short lil spurts always seem to land right back in the same spot even after makin changes to extend my steps. i keep reaching but it seems i keep slipping further down into oblivion even though the light is shining right in my face. so should i give up or just change tact? fall back or relax n let my mind clear? i don't know cause right now this weight is crushing me and the only escapes i see is a new found enslavement or death which both seems repulsive to me. but then again our lives are based on living with taken the lesser evil to get to the greater good. if i think about its like living in a war torn hood where allies change with convenience of whats offered to help along your cause. so i'm take a quick pause to retreat into my tormented mind and see if this hazy maze can offer up any fleeting thoughts of momentary peace.

a look inside

2009-06-17T17:59:00.000-07:00

what do you do when your soul is on fire? when its burning in agonizing pain?
when you beg for answers and they are slow to come? what can you do when you wander aimlessly about inside your own dark world with no way of escape?
how do you deal with all of your reality folding in on itself? how can you help heal those around you when you cant heal your self?
is there anything to stop the insanity when it sets into your brain? when your will just gives in to mind numbing pain?
why is that after finding the light once more its snatched away with a snicker an more false promises? how do you conquer your self with out destroying apart of one self?
if any one has the answers let me in on them. let a brother copy a few notes so he can keep his head above the water. give me a retreat to pull myself back from the brink and come back swinging.
tell me how can i truly find self peace when all i want to do is rip my self to pieces?
how do i dry up these un-shed tears that sit and fester inside to slowly poison n corrupt my soul?
is it possible to continue to be a source of light when all inside off you is foul and corrupt?
how can an angel soar with out their wings? or how can one remain pure when they've given into the ultimate of sins?
how do you face your self after lookin inside and screaming from the sights buried deep inside your own psyche? to maintain sanity after thinkin such insane thoughts?
how do you conquer your own self made demons?

thoughts of mine

2009-06-17T17:57:00.002-07:00

it seems like there is nothing to hold onto anymore but i wouldn't give up this feeling of flying for nothing naw couldn't be falling cause i feel to great not having anything to hamper me in these thoughts of liberation taken time to get myself together trying to be rid of all these frustrations that plague my every happy thought seems like right now nothing really matters not that i don't care but it seems like i'm just beyond that point right now just letting things be only being nudge by the bare minimal of these feelings that we have such a great sensation or is just that i'm imagining this blissful feelin? oh well i guess what i'm suppose to be worried about its the storm after this calm the foreboding is there but right now i ignore it just like an old man not worried bout death for have come to accept it as a long awaited friend looking forward to meet after living a good life yea u may say its not right but then again we live in a world where sanity isn't a common thing for if it was why would we be at each others throats this way disliking each other cause of our different beliefs and principals some of us do need to just drop dead bringing down others cause our own lives just suck like stank ass but step in my way n i'm bound to run through ya if i cant just walk round u other wise i'm just thinkin n waiting & hoping & prayin for the next best thing but until then ill ponder on these thoughts of mine.

energy

2009-06-17T17:57:00.001-07:00

energy is all around us
in everything we do and touch
that's why i cant stand negative or angry people
cause even when they leave their energy remains
and you take a piece of it knowingly or not
and its hard to catch ourselves when we get caught
especially when so much is around us
one minute u can be laughin n jokin with a friend
an then your at each other throats
all because someone else was having a bad day
an just chance may have it they passed your way
but you cant let your self get swamped with it
gotta be able to balance your own energy to deal
so what ever way u do just create a quick step for it
that way when negative energy hits your ready for it
and you may even calm that other person down
so if i seemed a lil short im sorry i just had to get rid
of some negative energy n didn't mean to send it
your way.

one of the hardest

2009-06-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

one of the hardest things to do is to say good bye
even if its only for a moment
cause u know that's all it takes for it to last forever
regardless if its a friend or loved one
we rather say see you lata instead of goodbye
it seems to give us a sense of longevity u can say
lets us believe for a moment they'll be there 4ever
but sometimes you know you have to say it
and it breaks the heart when you do
especially for those you dearly cherish
it can be an almost impossible thing
the reasons for it are all to common
but seem like such alien things
of course natural causes, or man made ones
or just the fact they move away
or you've out grown that relationship for a moment
or for the rest of your life but you still leave it open
give them room to come back or for you to go back
but sometimes u let them go cause u know
its 4 da best
even so its never easy to actually say it
to really look them in the eyes and let them know
this is the final goodbye

let me be this

2009-06-17T17:54:00.002-07:00

so frustrating this feeling
not being able to express this sensation
soul shaken, body tingling, heart aching sensation
this mind bending feeling
nerve numbing experience
entire being is assaulted by it
fearing and yet begging for more of it
some are lucky to have that once in a life time experience
but that is a crueler fate to have only once
but to experience it again and again
truly the best high unnatural or naturally felt
so addicting once its found and comprehended
i guess it can be compared to what they say when
your elf struck
well if so ill be that forbidden fairytale for you
that dark mysterious character that comes to corrupt you
letting you glimpse all the dark pleasurable delights
and to fulfill them all for you in endless nights under stars
to leave you yearning for another chance filled night
let me be this dark forbidding passion if just for a night

your true desire

2009-06-17T17:54:00.001-07:00

so what is that you seek?
another story you wish me to speak?
another tell of forbidden passion and desire
to tease and arouse your sense's
to leave you begging for more
another story to leave you yearning for more of my touch
to leave you only partially satisfied
your hunger brought to a ravenous tempo
leaving your body aching and shaking
do you want me to weave more tells
of half glimpsed fantasies seen under moonlight
do you want that yearning fulfilled
or more teasing pleasures to build up to the climax
tell me what is your true desire?

indirect

2009-06-17T17:53:00.002-07:00

so what is it that im seeking?
been thinking about it for awhile
that feeling at the back of my mind like something missing
or something is just not right with this current situation
i mean its good no lie about that
the lovin and sexing that we do for endless nights
heated passion and pleasure that burns away all worries
and yet it stills feel like we're missing part of this story
or is it the fact i sense the end close at hand?
but if so what is this intangible yearning?
is it a bit more spice to this sex life that i seek?
or is it truly i have yet found myself complete?
fulfilled like an overstuffed cat feed well on the best dish
my sixth-sense just wont stop poking me allowing no rest
one minute content and next i'm searching abroad
cant lie my eye has been wandering the sea of beauty
admiring the different dishes that have passed me by
i guess i know the answer i seek
but yet its still more i figure that has yet to speak
acknowledging it self to me
temptation runs high beneath this open sky
starting to realize the depths yet to be explored in life
i do wonder if i leave will your cries be like thunder
tears falling like the heaviest blanket of rain
to pound your frustration and hurt on to my ears
hopefully to rely their pain n hurt
to my so suddenly iced over heart?
but before you start to accuse me let it be known
not once i have "roamed away from home"
yes thoughts have wandered abroad
but never has the thought become action
just that i need a true satisfaction
i don't know what it is that i want or need
just the fact i realized something or someone else
is out there calling for my attention
so i guess this is my little confession
but still the answer i seek is yet unspoken
or is that i just wish to fail to realize?

&.......

2009-06-17T17:53:00.001-07:00

i can be your greatest friend & lover
you can lean on me through the good & bad
i'll always be right there by your side to help
all you gotta do is turn around & there ill be
but i'm gonna be the one you hate the most
the thought of me will sicken you to no end
ill be the one to hurt you the most
& do you wanna know the reason?
it's cause you know im that one for you
in this life & the next
this world & any other
i'm your other half for good or bad
the one that'll give you their all
& you'll do the same for me
cause deep down you know you were made for me
& i for you
for every tear i make you cry
twice as many laughs we'll share together
& the worst thing we'll fear
the worst thing we'll hate
is needing each other to much
& that'll be what we love the most
we'll cherish forever
is knowing we'll always be their for each other

torn

2009-06-17T17:52:00.001-07:00

this night i lost myself in your arms
i couldn't believe i let it happen
but oh what sweet bliss i found between your thighs
yet i despise that happiness we found together
it haunts me every wakening moment
i relish the memory for the warmth it offers me
but then i curse it for the feelings it stirs inside me
my loins ache with the want
mouth waters for the taste
and yet my stomach rebels at the thought
i cant believe your touch does this to me
one moment i crave it and next i despise it
everything that i wanted yet was denied
everything i despise yet was given
i'm trapped between heaven and hell
my prison is my flesh
and you my jailer
but at the same time your my savior
the one i beg to deliver me from this torment
yet i'm torn between wanting this freedom
and despising what it will give me
i'm just not ready
i'm torn

how can i tell?

2009-06-17T17:50:00.002-07:00

i thought i had dreamless nights but whats happening is that i'm having sleepless nights with to many dreams colliding and running together that i don't know when i'm dreaming or awake. endless dreams that constantly assault me with their calming spells calling me constantly begging me to just let my self slip back in to utter bliss. they haunt me while i'm awake or is it when i'm sleep? these dreams these dreams these wonderful dreams. some times they hold so much meaning and at others just utter nonsense only there to confuse and send me astray. such sweet dreams such bitter dreams that walk hand in hand. i embrace them yet i despise them for some lift me up while others drag me down. these dreams will either liberate me or enslave me but how can i tell?

Tease

2009-06-17T17:50:00.001-07:00

a quick kiss a soft caress and your breath catchs
slow lick and quick flick makes your body shiver
gently suck on your neck and caress your thigh
fingers run down my chest and then up my back
your spine bends as my mouth draws in your breast
sharp cry of pain and joy as my finger finds your wet open cavern
my finger mimics my tongue so one tempos changes the other
as your nipple grows hard my teeth tease it gently
then i switch sides to recreat the answer of my work
slowly i glide my tongue down to your naval
seeking and searching i lick and kiss it
gently blowing across to tickle the wetness i left behind
and creep down to that delicious honey pot
only to leave you wanting more as the dream begins to fade

This obsession

2009-06-17T17:49:00.001-07:00

i want this to be smooth and to flow
but instead my motions are jerky and jaged
the pen slices through the paper
feels like a knife through my heart
but i cant ceasce untill its all out in the open
what ever these emotions that drive me
like my blood running from an open wound
the ink just wont ceasce to bleed onto the paper
ceaping through to stain the table
leaving a testament of the silent war that raged
to leave a slight indent in the volumes of history
but im sure it'll be easily over looked
so furiestly i sit here writing and thinking
and deeper and deeper these wounds to paper run
quicker and quicker my bleeding heart pumps
nothing to stop this insanity that i call passion
im obsessed with being remebered for something great
regardless if i became famous or infamous
the need for it is greater then the love for sweet pure air in lungs
i wont ceasce untill this slight indent is a great scar or imprint
till these anuuals of history scream there acknowledgement of me

wondering

2009-06-17T17:43:00.002-07:00

I sit here looking at this blank piece of paper
Thinking of another way to pour my soul through this pen
But my mind is blank after diggin ideas with this scraper
Nothing comes to the surface to bleed and blend
Silence is roaring through me
While I chew my lip in anticapation
But I guess it just wont be
Nothing to express these varied sinsations
The beast just slumbers with in
Not even great anger or passion moves it
Heh not even after so many wonderful sins
Well I guess I've finally reached eternal bliss
Or my muse has once again abandon me

i knoe

2009-06-17T17:43:00.001-07:00

I know its been awhile since i stopped by
Yea it has taken me sometime just to say hi
A few things where just on my mind
Just seems like for awhile I've just been walking blind
Many times I caught myself ready to pick up the phone
Because I just couldnt stand being alone
But thats not a good enough reason to put you through
Especially after all the things you use to do
I really couldnt appreciate your worth
Now I gotta sit here and be the one hurt
I guess Im starting to get clarity
Of how much you really meant to me
But I'll never admit that to your face
Cause at the end I just want these feelings to cease.

for even in my dreams

2009-06-17T17:42:00.001-07:00

i dreamed of scorching sand and hot winds
i dreamed of lookin at starie skys
i dreamed of riding across open plains
i dreamed of soaring through the air
but these dreams always come to an end
sometimes the turn to nightmares
instead of scorching sand its an inferno of molten rock
instead of starie skys the sky is cracked and scared
instead of open plains it was valleys of bones
instead of soaring i was falling
these constantly assault me when i sleep and wake
and when not being bombared i sleep in oblivion
restless oblivion
feeling the cold touch of the next but not being able to see
that is my biggest fear
not being able to see
for even in my dreams my vision is blurry
for even in my dreams i can never truly see clearly
for even in my dreams my sight seems weaken
for like in my dreams my life seems faded

can u answer me?

2009-06-17T17:39:00.001-07:00

it seems constantly i come to cross roads and wonder what to do with my life. well so far it seems like i havent done much if i messasure it to the extrem of lifes sucess and yet if i measure it to the hopeless i have come along way and yet i feel like i have acomplished so little compared to the choices and chances i've been offered. i constant wonder what it is that makes some great regardless if its good or bad, and why the rest just are. i guess im just second guessing to much but i feel if i dont question myself then ill truly let my self down but at the same time i feel like im holding myself back to much. what is that truly moves me?

bayin wolf

2009-06-17T17:36:00.001-07:00

i throw my head back and cry at moonless sky
this mournfull howl of a broken heart
when did this pain start?
i love her but right now she's beyond my reach
she loves me but she knoes she'll never really have me
one of these hearts will be broken
mine has already shattered time and again
which will join the remainin pieces of mine on the floor?
and even still it seems that we beg for more
i want the moon and the sun to shine together
but i might as well move the heavens with my anger
it was wrong from the start yet we still took that leap
have yet to land but already i feel defeat
tears are shead daily but hidden oh so well
why do put ourselves through this tormented hell?
why did i even come up from the deep?
oh lord my heart is to weak
i through my head back and cry at a moonless sky
this mournfull howl of a broken heart

a glimps

2009-06-17T17:35:00.001-07:00

been called amongst the stars
to walk through the heavens with immortals
but im not yet ready
i dont feel like this life has given all
something still is left unsaid
a few things still left undone
or maybe i presume to much
maybe i was just given a glimps to strive 4
was it a dream or a vision?
actually what is the difference?
i just knoe no wings to fly with yet
havent been through nearly enough yet
yea even though i claim to
my soul isnt grown enuff yet still a child
my years are merely seconds in enternity
but an enternity can last 4eva in a second
so a glimps into....into what?

im just thinkn

2009-06-17T17:09:00.001-07:00

for a minute i was bout to give up on life, tired of tryn to get those diamonds shining like tv, half of em is fake anyway, but finally the reallness is back, not just talkn bout what they got, but what they've been through or still are going through, but yea def gave a fresh new breath to me, now can sit back and breave easy, nothing special just a new focus on life, no hype in da streets, hahaha lil street cred at all, but sooner or lata ya gonna get dat call, gonna see one day n yup gonna be me, but till then sit back and dream and sweat my ass of till it's dat time, either infront or behind da camra but either way i have to make it

predicament

2009-06-17T17:08:00.001-07:00

taken a step but the road has started to crumble
now no way to go back but cant move on
nothing but gaping caverns separating each side
reality seems to have twisted in on it self
voices are running rampant through my head
those of lovers,angels,demons, and my own
getting hard to separate one from another
thoughts are so confusing now
no way for my mind to relax
vision is foggy again
cant see decisions clearly any more
all feelings are starting to go numb
at least no more pain can be felt
just have to suffer through till the end

how do u....?

2009-06-17T17:07:00.001-07:00

how do u make a star cry?
how do u make the heavens envy you?
how do u make the most beautiful beings in creation weep?
how do u make the comose shutter in ecstasy and pain?
how do u make the universe bend in difference to u for a moment?
how do u make the angels and demons cry out in joy and pain?
how do u make the all of creation give up its deepest secretes?
how do u make the love of your life realize your alive?
you steal the heart of an angel, the jewel of the heavens, and you deny the kiss, affection, and love of all and let your heart turn cold after being so pure for so long. you give into your darkest temptations and denie the reason and kindness of your trueself. u let it all overwhelm you and then you overwhelm it with your passionate anger. and then after all of that you give up on the chase and let it all start to chase you. give into wild abandonment. actually how the hell do i knoe?

why cant i?

2009-06-17T17:06:00.003-07:00

why cant i brake these unseen chains?
why cant i just let myself lose all control?
why cant i get over these self doubts?
why cant i conquer myself?
why cant i make her see me?
why cant i dream anymore?
why cant i honstely tell her the way i feel?
why cant i shout out in joy instead of pain?
why cant i just live life to the fullest?
why cant i stop second guessing myself?
why cant i?

i wanna knoe

2009-06-17T17:06:00.001-07:00

i wanna knoe is there ever gonna be a chance a chance that i can look into your eyes and knoe peace to hold you in my arms and offer up a piece of security softly kiss you with passion and caress you with passion i wanna knoe will there be a time of endless pleasure a time where the look in each others eyes are the same to knoe that there isn't another out there like you or me knowing that on some other level we're complete i wanna knoe if one day we can compliment each other's strengths and weakness that even if truly we cant say we're in love that we do love the friendship we have built through all our joined trials and tribulations i wanna knoe if i can't be your lover can i at least become one of your closest friends?

why now

2009-06-17T17:05:00.001-07:00

what is this feeling thats haunting me?
me the dark passionate dessire that hunts all
why is it now decieding to arise after such a long slumber?
many have i hunted and seduced for the pure enjoyment
but now i stand here shaking to the core once more
why now does it call to me so sweetly and strongly?
why now does it demand my attention?
why now?
when iam almost at my best, when i have given over to my true being
now when i've tracked so many to seduce into given me sweet delights
why now does love decide to hunt me after i've given up searching?
now i can hear its sweet voice whispering to me of all the joys it brings
it drowns my sense's in its sweetness and kindness
my head bows in differnce to it instead of lifting to sound the call to hunt
i knoe its out there watching me as i have watched so many others
soon it will overcome me as i have so many others
and just like those that have subcome to me i knoe i can not resist it
even though i have cursed it and given up i will not be able to denie it
what is this feeling that we call love?
and why now?

my proposal

2009-06-17T17:04:00.000-07:00

spit words like Shakespear
type of nigga with no fear
so come on ma have a care
it aint gotta be sexual
it could be intellectual
i just wanna get next to you
i gotta plan to raise my statues
and I wanna bring you along
cause you look strong
type of girl that i can wife
sleep next to you for da rest of my life
bring you homes to moms
i aint scared to meet your pops
trust me girl
I can give you da world

sweet tragedy

2009-06-17T17:03:00.002-07:00

looked up at the sky and saw your eyes looked down at the grass and felt your caress looked around because i thought i heard your laugh closed my eyes and felt your smile shook my head because i tried to remember your words that night we spent in utter-bliss i miss the way are hearts beat in unison how are bodies and souls became one lost all control at the peak took a minute to speak held each other for awhile damn i miss your smile looked in your eyes and realized i was lost knew what you was going to say some how i couldn't turn away i rose out of bed and walked to the window turned to see your body bathed in moonlight you were so beautiful i wanted to cry turned away and asked the lord why felt your arms around me knew then you had me put your face in my back i started to relax then you did it you said "I Love You"and then god took you before i could say it I Love You Too

the plea

2009-06-17T17:03:00.001-07:00

i'm barely living
going through every day barely breathing
damn it's hard to think
lost everything in da blink of an eye
some one please tell me the secret to life
can't sleep at night
look up everyday at the sky
god how i wish i could fly
take off to a foreign place
fly up to those pearly gates
finally thought i found the perfect place
damn how it all blew up in my face
lord please show me the way
tell me i'll get to see a better day
how i dream of that blissful peace

ragging

2009-06-17T16:58:00.001-07:00

i sit back with a pen-n-pad to figure out why im so mad
to spill my guts on a piece of paper
that'll end up in the can
can't understand, damn
so much hate inside of me
gotta find a way to release the anger and pain
and maintain my soul at the same time
and i swear never to shed a tear again
and if you could understand why
then you'd probably cry for me
but even then it wouldn't matter
cause of the sins that i committed
none can be forgiven
so until the end i turn my face from heaven light
only to embrace the cooled fires of hells night

a warriors good bye

2009-06-17T16:55:00.002-07:00

a good time to die
no reason to say good bye
i cut all my mortal ties
no reason for you to cry
time to go on to the next life
see you in the after life
till then hope you have a good life
i never meant to lie
started to realize
made a lot of mistakes while alive
in da end it's alright
i died on a good night

if i only could

2009-06-17T16:55:00.001-07:00

meant to call you last night
needed to apologize for the fight
should of said that i loved you
instead i said i cant stand you
should of held you close
instead i said get lost
wish i could erase everything i said
and tell you how i truly feel
on a level i know you already knew the truth
but i still wish i could have said it to you
took a chance that night
wish i could erase that sight
you crying cause of what i said
but i'm truly sorry
cause it wont be anything compared
to those words i never said
and never will say
cause now im dead

hunt

2009-06-17T16:54:00.001-07:00

darkness all round only stars to light the way
wind flowing over and around me
lift my head back to enjoy the sensation
oh how exhilarating the nights can be
feel like shouting out in joy
must be quiet otherwise will be discovered to soon
eyes focus and scan the surrounding brush
nose flares as the familiar scent of the prey is discovered
throw back my head and let the howl brake my throat
the hunt is on as i crash into the undergrowth after my prey
no pack to run with but never truly alone
the night is my companion always with its moon and its stars
oh how graceful my prey is leaping and lunging this way & that
but all in vain oh though more stimulating is the chase then any
into a clearing we enter against a cliff wall
i begin to shift my form as i approach her slowly
the doe is frighten but excited and the scent is to intoxicating
she wants this as much as i do
mouth pulls back into a ferocious grin of triumph
her back is pressed against the wall breast heaving
i take her into my arms and press my face into her neck
her arms wrap around me bringing me in close
oh the fun we will have this night.

bliss

2009-06-17T16:51:00.002-07:00

heart aching, heart racing, oh the anticipation
muscles flexing, muscles stretching, oh the exhilaration
soft groans, loud moans, oh the sensation
soft kisses, rough licks, oh the stimulation
mind numbing pleasure is all that is felt
hands grasping, arms flailing as if drowning
back arches, legs bend from constant pleasure
light spasm then hard shivering as climax is reached
loud grunts and soft screams as pounding continues
sweat dripping, lips searching as the cycle begins to cease
moment of bliss is all that i want to give to you

bitter sweet

2009-06-17T16:51:00.001-07:00

ever have something bitter & sweet at the same time?
of course you have
ever feel bitter & sweet at the same time?
of course you have
your heart ever soar so high but felt so low?
of course it has
your heart ever feel torn between more then one person?
of course it has
its so sweet that love can know no bounds oh such joy it knows
yet its so bitter when bonds are place upon it as choices
which one to love and which one to let go?
which one do you hold close and which one do you push away?
which one do you console and which one you just let cry?
i don't know i don't know
lord why is this such a torn path?
why does the heart know such joy and pain at the same time?
try & try & try so damn hard not to get close
and then when it happens try & try & try so hard not to hurt em
and when that happens try & try & try so hard to make it right
and when that doesn't happen try & try & try so hard to forget
but that never truly happens, oh the pain lessens but still remains
sometimes its all we can do from going insane
well what do you do when you heart is to that point
and you refuse to let any of em go?
how you yearn to bring pleasure to their physical and mental
wishin to please em all at once cause you know they deserve it
but what happens when feelings truly get involved?
yea some of em just want you to satisfy that feeling of lust
but others want you to satisfy that feeling of love
sometimes that line blurs and who to say which is which
emotions are the ultimate bitch but you gotta love em

a tru peek

2009-06-17T16:48:00.000-07:00

i swear i got one hella split persona mean with this pen in hand i'm either a true beast or gentleman well i guess it's not that unusual we all go through right?but to meet me in person only some of it leaks through calm laid back reserved and quiet is what i am and a bit silly but with this pen i'm the strongest of the strong one of the sweetest of the sweet or i can be the meanest you ever seen what is a poet with no tears?is not the poetry i write meant to cause that exact thing to make your heart and mind weep with feelings and thoughts to take you to the highest peak with triumph or to the deepest pits with defeat a poet that lets no emotion enter into their work is unheard of but truly that is who i have become these words though my own are truly not this other side or sometime multiple sides take over me i'm blind until the end result and surprised at what i write lol i guess i got the upper hand cause you can call this the tearless poets true confession i'm not a fraud or a fake just an individual torn to the extreme

what i

2009-06-17T16:40:00.001-07:00

what do i need?
hmmm let me think.....
there are a bunch of things i could say
but only few would really matter
so i'm cut to the chase
i need a lady in da streets but a hella freak in da bed
i need her touch, her kiss, and her caress
to feel her body pressed against mine
right now i just need one or two
not gonna lie i do need a wifey to keep my head straight
but if i can get a few dat don't mind
being there only part of the time
ill be honest and let em know just lookin for fun
but if dat wifey come along gotta kick em to da curb
unless she one hella freak and let em in only during weekends
so what is it dat i need?
i need dem gurls dat will rock my world
wont get to attached and will let me know whats really good
and understand when i do fall for one da others gotta go
unless she say so
actually that's all just smoke in da air
i just need my brains screwed out really bad
hahahahahahahahaha
but hey right now that's what i really need
dont call me a dawg or say i got a dirty mind
i was up front and 100% with mine

just a thought

2009-06-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

i sit back and pull on this herb
yes this is the one they say is so destructive
but in my reality it relaxes me and helps me think
see i am not addicted to it it is addicted to me
how do you say because it needs me to be
sure others will grow him/her/it
but i'm one that gives it meaning
maybe i'm just so into it that i don't realize that i am
or maybe its just the fact that i'm on another level altogether
i just know that some of my best ideas and thoughts appear from it
not a constant use but when it is oh how i can claim
a mental of a genius but then who cant
oh well that's not the reason for this
just a thought that crossed my mind on why life is how it is
for some we can speak our fortune or misfortune into being
others just have the luck of the draw or don't
and then again there are us who rise above even those standards
like it was already destined for us to be this way
for instance how is it one man can control the many
when it should be the many who control the one
some just have that extra what ever you wanna call it
but its always up to you to follow or lead
so i go back to pullin on this herb and thinkin of other words
not sure if you got this and don't really care
as long as you just respect my thoughts and ill respect yours
rather kick peace to you then kick out your teeth
but we all must know when to fight and when to speak